SMS to my only friend

Can't sleep. Not because I am afraid of what happened 2 days back. But because of random thoughts like always. Thoughts that torture me, make fun of me, remind me of my deepest fears. I wish I could forget. I wish I could forgive. But I have not been able to. I am only punishing myself. But I think i would have deserved it. God isn't unfair. one needs to pay for every mistake. I wish my punishment ends soon, with a new life of happiness or untimely death. I don't care.

Wahan Kaun hai tera

Wahan kaun hai tera

Beet gaye din, pyaar ke palchhin
sapna bani woh raaten
bhuul gaye woh, tu bhi bhula de
pyaar ki woh mulaaqaaten
sab door andhera

musaafir jaayegaa kahaan

koi bhi teri, raaha naa dekhe
nain bichhaaye naa koi
dard se tere, koi naa tadpa
aankh kisi ki naa royi,
kahe kisko tu meraa

musaafir jaayegaa kahaan

Wrong assumptions

The biggest problems in life come from wrong assumptions. And the greatest assumptions that one makes is about oneself. The fact is that how you think you are is very very deeply embedded in you and those assumptions are too difficult to change.
I assumed that I was a good person.
I assumed that I never wanted to hurt someone.
I assumed that I was an unselfish person.
I assumed that I have never made a person cry.
I assumed that I deserve respect of many people for my work.
I assumed that there are people who think the same way as I think about myself.
I assumed that I am not shallow.
I assumed that I can change for my friends and family.
I assumed that I have sacrificed for people I love and that they like me for it.
I assumed that I am improving.

I am sorry that each day breaks one of the above assumptions and it does hurt the soul inside which wants to be good. All of these assumptions are like targets that I am sure now that I can not reach. There's just one constant thing that would accompany in this target chase, and thats the 'self doubt' making the chase impossible.

I know there would be none of you that would agree that all my assumptions is actually correct. Please don't flatter me. Please don't fight it. Because I already trust that you are better than I could ever think about myself. I hope I remind this to myself always.
Thanks a lot......