We must have heard the phrase " unconditional love" many times over being used in contexts like true love is always unconditional. Now the reason that I don't really believe in the statement that there aren't conditions attached to love, is primarily because of the excessive usage of this phrase "unconditional love" as an umbrella to hide against the true responsibilities that come with love. Yes for me love or any other relationship always carries a baggage with it. And greater is the pleasure or feeling of satisfaction, greater are the stakes.
Do parents love their children unconditionally? Lets say a kid who has gone bad with his own life. The guarantee letter that the love of his/her parents isn't going to be a touch hindered by his actions that are ruining his own life, is somehow an encouragement (passive but surely an encouragement) for him to sacrifice his life to his craziness.
For me the power of love lies in the fact that to achieve it one is ready to change himself ... to bring out the best person hidden inside him and to be happy to sacrifice. One explores how wonderful love can make life even with the baggage... because the pain doesn't even compare to the pleasure. That power of love hence is drwan from something every opposite to the concept of "unconditional love".
For me the thin line that can be drawn for what expectation or condition is fair and what is not is not lies in the selflessness of the condition. A father who expects his kid to throw his bad habits puts this condition primarily for selfless feeling for his child. A wife who expects her husband to be loyal to her expects this for the sanctity and strength of the relationship, something which should be of equal importance to both.
I really hope that this trend of hiding in the name of "unconditional love" doesn't get me one day because it is easy to be mean and lazy to change yourself but the essence and power of the true state would never ever be close to me.
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7 comments:
In this world everybody knows how u sud live ur life except u : the loved ones want u to change n be a person who "according to thm" is more lovable. Problem arises when u don't want to b that person. It is here that love is tested do people give u the freedom to be urself or forget to love u if u don't fall in line. wat sud one do in case of conflict?? i will agree with Hoark(fountain head) in his court speech.He doesn't want to change himself for the society to love him.
@nikhil
thanks for commenting
well i really don't think that roark wanted the love of society in the 1st place. He loves his work more than society and the society loves its tradition more than a person. The problem arises in deciding when you think you are correct in wanting love and retaining every whim that you have. Either you should not want to have the love of some person/body which doesn't have respect for that whim of yours or else you sacrifice your whim because the affiliation with that body/ person is worth much more than whim of yours. Roark chose the 1st option
"For me the power of love lies in the fact that to achieve it one is ready to change himself ... to bring out the best person hidden inside him and to be happy to sacrifice"
IF this is what u say u r advocating to give up ur whim for the love of sumone else to "bring out the best person" u r saying one must "always" make this choice to change oneself if we luv sumbdy. right? the first line hints it: clearly numerous stories will tell u gr8 people became gr8 because they chose their whim inspite of all odds, and when they were vindicated the same society/loved ones who vehemently opposed them now accepted them: shouldn't true love give you the space to make ur own choices(advice you ofcourse) without being judgemental or "imposing" their choices??
@nikhil
You are absolutely right in saying that there are great people who stuck to their belief which was the reason for their greatness.
What that goes to show that sometimes one should love their belief as well.
Galileo never wanted the love of a dogmatic society. He was clear to his own self and belief when he made that choice.
Their is nothing "true love" like in society's naming and defaming heroes with every gone day.
When one doesn't feel being "imposed" when making the sacrifices, that state is true love. And yes according to me minus that sacrifice their can not be true love. Thats my belief,that i love. May be I'll be "vindycated" (pun intended) for my beliefs later.
God knows what we are expecting, when we talk of unconditional love, but really, the closest I've got to understanding it is that it is about giving the person you love complete freedom, respect and encouragement to be himself/herself, to feel assured, protected yet free and independent, and the entire freedom and choice to love you back. That is all unconditional love is about, letting the person you love be the happiest the way they want to be the happiest and supporting them to protect them from anxieties and mistakes.
@taru
when one tries to give complete freedom of choice & encouragement, one has to sacrifice one's own wishes sometimes. For e.g. : the wish to encourage your loved one's career, you may have to leave your wish of spending time with them when you need them.
Now both the people in that relationship make such sacrifices without they being verbally being asked as a precondition.
Now until you make that sacrifices, I don't see it being called true love. So the condition is being imposed, in most cases than not, one imposes them on oneself without a feeling of force or pressure.
You found one more reader.. :)
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